Encouragement In Life · Fertility Journey

There Is Beauty In the Weeds

Weeds grow rapidly, spread all over, pop up where unexpected, and choke out other plants – much like the struggles in our lives, right?

The struggles build on top of each other and grow quickly. You’re reminded often by the things around you, and hurt often.

The pain spreads into other areas of your life. You often let it affect your work, home, spiritual, and physical life. You take your hurt, anger, and frustration out on the important people in your life (spouse, parents, siblings, children, etc.) – even when you try not to. It spreads like weeds – fast, wide, and sporatic. You don’t always know when it’s going to affect you – where you’ll be, who you’ll be with, and what’s going on around you.

BUT through it all, there is beauty – if you allow it.

Beauty in the pain and suffering. Beauty in who you become when you come out on the other end. Beauty in the relationships built through it – the ones who love you, support you, and pray for you. I am thankful for our fertility struggle. “Wait, what did she just say?!” Yup, I just said that. I am thankful. I still struggle, I still have pain, and I still hope and dream of becoming pregnant, soon! BUT I am thankful the Lord is using our experience to help others through theres. I am thankful I have a better appreciation and understanding for others who go through infertility as well. I still have REALLY rough days, and events, words, etc. that trigger my emotions, but I am THANKFUL!

1 Thessalonians 5:18: Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. (NLT)

Philippians 4:6: Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. (NLT)

Psalm 106:1Praise the LordOh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever! (ESV)


Psalm 28:7: The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving. (NLT)

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Check out those “weeds” above – they aren’t actually considered weeds, but they sure are invasive. Each year we pull as many as we can find, but somehow they come back in full force the next Spring. They reproduce and spread like crazy. All through our yard and garden (much like dandelions). This year, I chose to let them be with my tulips. They are beautiful – if only for a moment. I cherished them this Spring, and will appreciate them each year for the reminder they bring to me.

Fertility Journey

I Choose To REJOICE.

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I choose to REJOICE.

rejoice.
verb (used without object), rejoiced, rejoicing.
1. to be glad; take delight (often followed by in):

to rejoice in another’s happiness.
I am choosing to rejoice through the sadness, through the pain, and through the disappointments along this journey- it’s not always easy, but I am choosing it. I find my joy in the Lord, and his blessings in my life. He is graceful and merciful – in everything.

Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart.” – Psalm 37:4
rejoice.
verb (used with object), rejoiced, rejoicing.
2. to make joyful; gladden:

a song to rejoice the heart.
We are rejoicing in the pregnancy of my brother and sister-in-law. We rejoice with them in their little miracle, and we are both excited to meet our sweet little niece/nephew in a few months. Many have asked: “How are you planning their baby shower?!”  The simple answer: because I care about them, am excited for them, and it makes me feel like I am part of the process – on my own terms. I enjoy planning events like this, and I’m thrilled to decorate it. Just because Jake and I are struggling, does not mean we ruin the lives of those around us.
We are thankful for those who weep alongside of Jake and myself – the prayers, tears, hugs, texts, letters, emails, etc.
“Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” – Romans 12:15

 

This past week I had the opportunity to go fishing for trout with my Dad and brother. It was such a blessing to spend time with just the two of them – made me feel like a little girl again. Fishing has given me the chance to pull away from the daily grind, and to sit outside in the beautiful weather. We had success, but even without it – I would have had a wonderful time. There is beauty in forcing yourself to get out of your house and relax – to forget, even if only for a moment, that you aren’t constantly working through the emotional pain of infertility. Briefly, I felt young again – with no worries. For this, I am blessed. Perhaps, for now, I found something to help me through the more difficult days.