Fertility Journey

..and so we wait

Monday, January 25, 2017: 12:58pm

This waiting period is awful. Tomorrow morning could not come soon enough – and then even a few more hours wait until I’ll receive any news. Thankful for the prayers and to those who have reached out to me this past week. There are not enough distractions in the world to keep me distracted long enough from this anticipation. Each and every moment of down time allows my heart to yearn, hopeful to take that time to pray instead of worry.

Jake, you are my rock. Thank you for all that you’ve done, all that you are doing, and all you will do for us and our future family – whatever the Lords leads our family to look like. You WILL be an amazing Daddy some day,

We have hope, and are praying for a miracle.

 

Tuesday, January 26, 2017: 9:33am

Blood was drawn, so now we wait. I should know by aound 2:30pm today.

While I was there I ran in to a dear friend, continuing to pray for you and your sweet miracle! (You know who you are!) 💜 Comforting to know others are going through this with you, even if you’d love for no one else to experience this. You are strong, so excited for you guys and your next step!

Now, off to keep myself occupied!

Tuesday, January 26, 2017: 10:53am

 

Passing time at my favorite coffee shop!

Holding back tears while reading this book. Only through the Coauthor’s Note and Introduction so far… wow!
If he can get through THAT, I can get through THIS!

Your outpouring of love and prayers has been evident today. THANK YOU!

 

Fertility Journey

Ovulation?

Quick update:

Jake and I met with Dr. Sobel on Thursday at 3:30pm. Bloodwork was taken to see if I did end up ovulating or not. Received a call the next day – I did! So that’s great news. Doesn’t mean pregnancy, but means everything did what it should so far!

I am currently on a Progesterone Suppository.

He reviewed all of our testing with us. Jake’s counts look great! Really nothing showing for me in particular either. “Unexplained” at this point still.

Moving forward – praying for pregnancy this time around. I will not be posting immediately (regardless of pregnancy or not) when we find out. However, be in prayer through this waiting period. The “two-week wait” is so difficult. Thankful for the many distractions lately.

What’s next?: If not pregnant we will look in to another round of Letrozole ($1100) or the Pure FSH ($1550). The costs are like that since it is past the diagnostic stage – so insurance will not pay.

We are HOPEFUL for a miracle. Please pray with us and for us. Our “WHY” in business has become even more apparent – CHILDREN, and not allowing the financial burden of pursing what we feel the Lord is leading us to!

Thankful for our supportive friends, family, clients, and business friends! We value each and every one of you!

Fertility Journey

Finding Joy

We have hope – and we continue to find joy.

Sorry I did not update sooner, many of you have been asking about the appointment. This week has been a little crazy – with our youth Winter Retreat coming up, business meetings, my dad’s shoulder surgery and more fertility appointments.

I had a lot headaches/migraines, achey muscles and joints, light-headedness, and other symptoms with the Letrozole. Praying for a precious miracle so we can avoid further need for Letrozole or othermedications. There is an option for shots which are pure FSH – MUCH more natural, but more expensive. We may seek this route in the future if necessary.

Thursday, January 5th I had my appointment for the Saline HSG and Saline Sonogram. Everything went smoothly, until she needed to manually open my cervix to take a biopsy. Thankful Jake was there so I could squeeze his hand and not yell (too) loudly.
– Results: Lining looked great, tubes were clear/open, and they will be sending the biopsy out.

Jake had taken the day off for my appointment and an appointment he had later in the day. It was a blessing to spend the full day with him. He’s my rock! (“Moment of JOY”) Went out with the family for my early birthday celebration – Hibachi grill – great ending to the day!

Tuesday, January 10th I went in for a follow-up appointment by myself. They drew blood to see if I ovulated (she called later that day around 2:30pm to let me know that I did not ovulate on my own). Another ultrasound was performed: Dr. Sobel was VERY pleased with my lining (9mm), and extremely thrilled with how I responded to the Letrozole – “2 very beautiful follicles” – talk about an ego boost, haha! (“Moment of JOY”) The nurse gave me the Ovidrel that would force my body to ovulate – Letrozole drops your Estrogen in order to create great follicles, however, often times it cannot catch up quickly enough for ovulation.

Jake and I have another follow-up appointment on Thursday, January 19th at 3:30pm. Dr. Sobel would like to review all of our results these past few weeks, and establish a plan moving forward.

We treasure your prayers.

(Photo is of us in the waiting room on 1/5/17)

Fertility Journey

Fertility Appointment – Update

On Thursday, December 29th I had my most recent doctor appointment. Here is the update:

– Had blood drawn at appointment – they called later that day to let me know everything seemed great.

– Another ultrasound: so far everything looks great/normal. Normal amount of follicles and ovaries & lining looks good.

– Jake and I both went to Quest to have more bloodwork drawn. (Check out the photos for the comparison of our tubes.) I took note of how much the bloodwork itself would have cost, without insurance, for each of us.
Jake: $1356.99
Shelly: $2847.18
Jake: 11 tests (4 tubes)
Shelly: 22 tests (11 tubes)

– Started Letrozole on Friday, December 30th: This is very similar to Clomid, but less side effects. I have noticed a few, but have (thankfully) not noticed the severe moodiness like Clomid did to me in the past. I am taking 2 VERY tiny pills for 5 days (10 pills total) – tomorrow is my last day!

– My supplements from the Nutritionist provide almost every vitamin they specifically want me on, however, they require me to be on CoQ10 as well (Yay, Costco for the win on the price for a bottle!). 2 large softgels every day.

– Wednesday, January 4th: I will take my antibiotic – 2 in the morning and 2 in the evening. This is in preparation for the next step.

-NEXT STEP, Thursday, January 5th: Saline Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) is scheduled for 9:45am. Thankfully, Jake has this day off of work so he is able to attend this with me. This is an updated and less-invasive version of the last one I had. It was extremely painful. They will be testing to see if my tubes are open. They are able to do this right in their office rather than having to travel to Paoli, PA like the last time. I will receive results immediately, and will be able to update soon after.

-NEXT STEP, same time as HSG, Saline Sonogram: This test is to evaluate the inside of my uterine cavity. They will take a small biopsy of the uterine lining during this procedure.

As we can, and as we feel comfortable, we will keep you updated.

Thank you for allowing me to use this as an outlet through this process. It is a blessing to be able to share our journey with you. Thank you for understanding that I have emotions that fluctuate – I choose to be honest with you about how we are feeling through the ups and the downs.

Fertility Journey

Merry Christmas

Wishing each of you a VERY Merry Christmas. May you find comfort and joy in the time spent with your family. Cherish every moment together, and hug your little ones a little tighter. Be encouraged by their excitement Christmas morning while waiting to open their presents. Be PRESENT in each moment – capture the love and joy in your memories.

Prayers for our hearts and emotions right now would be a blessing. This will be our last family Christmas (on Shelly’s side) without aneice/nephew – bitter sweet the reminder of my brother and sister-in-law expecting a little one. Joyous for them, but my heart aches deeper – an active reminder of our vacancy. Many have asked how we’re doing with it – and I truly don’t have a way to describe the juxtaposition of joy and saddness.

I pray for each of you who have reached out to me to share your struggle of infertility. I love you, and we WILL get through this. Thankful to lean on others when we need encouragement and to know you’re not in this alone as a couple – but we don’t wish this heartache on anyone. You are in our hearts!

* Photo: Shelly and Santa Jake! He’s a good sport each year at the Chiropractic office I work at – what a joy to see him with each of the children (and adults). *

Fertility Journey

Christmas Lights

What a blessing Christmas lights are this time of year. Brightening the darkness in our physical life – as well as the darkness in our depression, hurt, and pain.
I often find myself taking side roads and detours just to find a new home with lights. Why? Because it brightens my soul – they are beautiful, unique, and remind me of Jesus in my life. He brightens every part of me. He truly is what gets me through each day – I am thankful and blessed to KNOW Him! I often wonder how I could possibly get through this season of life without Him, and without Jake as such a wonderful support.

A little over a week ago, Jake and I put up our outside Christmas lights. Are they perfect? Absolutely not. Are they fun? You bet! We rushed around to put them up in time so our friends could drive by with their three sweet little ones to see them before bedtime. I sent photos of the process (Jake on the ladder in the tree, both of us on the roof, and our indoor lights) to their mom to share with them – apparently we were the talk of their dinner (especially Jake for their eldest daughter, Elsie… I don’t blame her, he’s pretty awesome – and cute!) When they stopped by, we walked outside to greet them. I could not let them drive by without seeing them! Miss Elsie’s response to our decor – “Jake did an AMAAAAAZING job!” What a beautiful soul- she does my heart good!

The past few days I have stopped to take photos of these beautiful homes – not for myself, but for the children. Their joy and excitement with seeing all these fun lights is so beautiful. Some days it’s a painful reminder of our absence of children – I so desperately want to be able to drive around and share in the excitement with OUR children, but for now I will bless other’s children with the photos/moments and use this time as an opportunity to reflect on Jesus.

Fertility Journey

Walmart Run-in!

I don’t think my heart could be any fuller in moments like these:

I made a “Walmart run” today (Wednesday, Dec. 14th, 2016) – I felt the need to go there to buy gifts for my youth girls (Jake and I are youth leaders at Calvary Church). I was planning to go to Target, but I am so glad I was drawn here today.

When I got close to the checkout lines I was on the phone with one of my beautiful cousins (if she wouldn’t have called, I would have already checked out) when along came one of our best friend couples and their five sweet children! I cannot even begin to explain how much this family means to us! They are prayer warriors, encouragers, friends, supporters and genuine listeners. The excitement these children get when they see “Shake & Jelly” is so incredibly good for my soul. Today was a huge blessing to get hugs, hi’s, and kisses! Sweet little Lily reached out for me to hold her. Yup, I was quickly melted in to a puddle – a puddle of joy and love. Asher shared how excited he was to get a balloon pump for Christmas, Noah & Malachi sweetly smiled and chatted, and little Gracee slept in the car seat all snug. My heart grew a million times bigger in that moment.

The children in our lives – through family, friends, and patients – really have no idea how much the hugs, smiles, and excitement with seeing us really help in our healing process through this journey. If only they could truly know how much we love them!

We both would love the love of a child of our own, but for now – we’ll take glimpses of love from other little ones.

This journey is difficult, but God has placed very dear friends in our lives – and we are thankful!

* I attached a photo of one of my favorite ornaments. This was before the two little girls came along! *