Fertility Journey

Slow Down – Take Inventory

Just a little update on our journey:

We have decided to, again, take a break from the medications/testing. My body does not respond well to medications, and I really need to focus on my health. Our focus is to continue Chiropractic, Nutrition (supplements), and to pursue Acupuncture. I also would like to get back in to a healthy habit of exercise and eating healthy.
Please pray along with us as we seek out an Acupuncturist who specializes in infertility AND someone who we really like. Also, for me to be motivated and encouraged to get my butt in gear with exercise.
I am sure you have noticed me posting a lot of photos of our niece – oh how we love her! When we first heard of her coming arrival, I was nervous. Scared that I would hurt when I saw her, and that I would be bitter towards Bobby & Faith. THANKFULLY, she has been a pure blessing during this journey, and Bobby & Faith allow me to have special time with her. She has caused me to slow down, and enjoy each and every moment. I have a special connection with sweet Melanie. ❤ I never really was able to experience being an Aunt at this stage with Jake’s nephews/nieces because they were older when I came in the picture.
A few of my favorite things with Melanie:
1. Singing to her – ALL THE TIME! She loves “My Girl” by the Temptations, “I love you, a bushel & a peck” with motions, “Head Shoulder’s Knees and Toes”, “Father Abraham” and just recently – “Little Bunny Foo Foo”.
2. Changing her diaper – Any time she’s over and her diaper needs changed… Aunt Shelly is ready to snatch her up. She loves her diaper being changed, and I make sure to raspberry her belly each time!
3. Rocking her to sleep – the one night she was refusing to fall asleep (football was on, and she loves it). I took her back to our guest room where it was quiet and dark and rocked her while singing “Father Abraham” (twice).
4. Watching Jake interact with her – what a joy. She loves her Uncle Jake.
5. Watching her smile – at everything and everyone.
6. Photo shoots – I enjoy finding cute clothing/bows and doing mini photo shoots with her. They’re usually done outside, and she’s a trooper!
7. Quite accurately – everything about her!

 

Sometimes in life we just need to slow down and focus on what’s right in front of us. I am so often caught up in our journey that I forget to notice what’s going on around me. Friendships, relationships, business, my spiritual life, physical health, etc.

I am reminded in one book I am currently read “Grace Not Perfection” by Emily Ley: “Give yourself permission to slow down. In fact, give yourself permission to just stop. Press pause on as much as possible, and take inventory of your life. What are your commitments and responsibilities? What can go? What are you priorities? What can you say no to?… What are you missing? What makes you feel deeply alive? And how can you fill your heart up with that, even if just a tiny bit?” Then she encouraged us to write out a list of things we LOVE.

Here is mine:
I love… being a wife, daughter, sister, and aunt. I love moments with my two best friends – Amanda/Leah, time with Jake – special moments. I love traveling, staying in luxury hotels, swimming (ocean or pool). I love sipping on tea – all year long. Changing Melanie’s diaper and bonding, singing, rocking, and snuggling her. Baby smiles/giggles. Checking out new destinations. Shopping for home goods items/furniture. Decorating the house. I love Fall/Autumn – pumpkins, leaves, cider, hayrides, orange, flannel, and everything else Fall. I love the way Jake cares for me and loves me. (I ran out of space on the page in the book, but I know I could come up with so much more.)

 

“So how do we tactically set ourselves up for joy? It starts with grace, continues with a plan, and ends with grace. When you make a plan, wrap it up in a giant hug of grace, because it may not happen, or it may not happen the way you intended. Let go of the perfect plan, and pursue a good and flexible plan – one that will give you the freedom to go with the flow and find the joy hidden in the in-between moments….” – Emily Ley

Fertility Journey

Infertility. Have you thought about adoption?

Screen Shot 2017-03-20 at 10.08.44 PM

To answer this quickly: ABSOLUTELY!

We understand your hearts behind asking this question – you want to help us figure out another way to follow our dreams.

Give me a moment to go a little deeper with this answer. Jake and I had decided when we were engaged that we would love to adopt some day – regardless of if we have biological children or not. This has always been on our hearts. However, we have not given up on our hope to have biological children as well. There is something so special and amazing to have a sweet little baby growing inside of you. Knowing that you and the love of your life created another life together. How amazing is that?! Literally brings tears to my eyes when I think about that. An outward and growing expression of our love – makes my heart skip a beat. I understand pregnancy is not always the most fun, but I cannot wait until I can feel the precious little flutters, kicks, and rolls. There is nothing to replace that, not even close.

For our first adoption (in the future), Jake and I would love to adopt a newborn. I think it would be very important and valuable to us as parents to experience the newborn stage. We have spoken to many couples that have adopted, and this was their thoughts as well – across the board – especially if our hearts were leaning in that direction. It was also brought up to us to adopt children in order by age – something we had never thought about before.

COST: Many believe we could save more money by adopting rather than going the route of IVF (praying we do not need to). However, adoption costs upwards of $30,000 and IVF is about $20-30,000 (depending). So for us, we would rather initially invest in IVF. Is this selfish, I really don’t think so.

Someday, we will adopt. It is our heartbeat. To give a home, a family, and LOVE to children who are not currently receiving that. This moment, we feel the Lord is continuing to lead us in the direction of pregnancy. This may change, but in the meantime – we ask for your continued love, support, prayers, and understanding.

“Never give up on your dream of being a Mom (Dad)”

 

Fertility Journey

Should we go… to the Doctor?

I have spoken to a lot of women, and I can vouch for Jake and myself. It was a struggle to make the decision to go to the fertility Doctor the first time. I felt as though I was giving up hope… it was putting an end to the “natural pregnancy” excitement. “Why couldn’t it just happen naturally for us?” “Why is there something WRONG with me, or him?” There was a sincere fear of finding out “who” was the reason for the infertility – and I think those are completely natural thoughts. “It is such a HUGE expense.” – in reality, it may not be.

Jake and I had to work through those thoughts – and it took a while. We made the decision together that even if we found out whose body was not allowing pregnancy, that we would NOT blame each other or ourselves. Trust me, this is hard to follow (especially when blaming yourself) – but it’s so worth it. We knew there were a few options – male factor, female factor, or unexplained. One thing for sure – we were going to get some “answers”.

I am thankful he is an encourager, and loves me through all of the emotions, thoughts, and fear. We needed peace of mind to know what was going on with our bodies.

Pursue your dreams of being parents:

If this is something you are struggling with, I encourage you to pursue answers – regardless of how long that process takes. For some, it may be simple – for others it may be more complex – and for a few it may be “unexplained”.

Steps:

  1. Call your insurance – see what they cover for fertility, how long you need to have been trying to conceive for, and ask if they require a referral (many do). Ours covered all the diagnostic parts of the process, some even cover IVF if you need to go that route in the future.
  2. Set up a time to meet with a local fertility Doctor – do a little research to find the right one for you. We are blessed to have found a truly caring Doctor – who understands our desire to be as natural as possible. Find one that fits your needs/desires.
  3. GO – sometimes this is the hardest step. Just go, don’t let the fears hold you back from pursuing your dreams.
  4. Find some individuals to support you emotionally through this process outside of just your spouse. Having a few core friends/family members to love you, encourage you, and pray for you is so valuable.

Remember, you are not alone.

screen-shot-2017-02-17-at-11-39-16-pm